Why Doesn’t My Boyfriend Help Me Financially?
1. He Doesn’t Really Love You
A guy who genuinely loves you would want to spend his money on you.
He would want to buy things that would make you happy because your happiness makes him feel like a hero.
But if he cares only about sleeping with you, he would hardly bother about your financial struggles.
A man who loves you wouldn’t see you struggling and not support you if he has it.
But if he doesn’t love you, he will always find a way to escape whenever you talk about money.
Recently I saw a beautiful gown on the internet and ordered it for my girlfriend. She was appreciative when she got it, making me feel like her hero.
If your boyfriend is not spending money on you (if he has it), he’s spending it on another woman he feels is worthy of it.
2. Lack Of Financial Stability
Maybe your boyfriend is struggling financially and can afford to help you, meaning he’s broke and trying to find his feet.
His job might be unstable, so he’s scared of spending money on you since he’s unsure of his finances.
I understand it’s not easy dating a guy who can’t help you financially, he might want to help, but he can’t.
If your boyfriend is broke, you can be patient with him until his finances improve or encourage him to get a better job that would pay more.
Dating a guy that can’t help you financially can quickly make you resent him.
3. Different Financial Priorities
Maybe your boyfriend is very economical with money and doesn’t give it out easily.
He might tag most things you want to use the money for as unnecessary.
Your boyfriend might claim he has a project he’s working on, so he can’t help you financially.
Or he’s saving towards buying his own house.
A stingy guy is never tired of excuses he can give to escape financial commitment.
It’s frustrating dating a stingy guy.
4. Miscommunication About Financial Expectations
Maybe your boyfriend feels he doesn’t need to help you financially.
Some guys have the mindset that your financial challenges are yours to handle.
They would ignore you when you complain about money and quickly try to change the conversation.
They believe a guy should only help his woman financially when they are married.
Your boyfriend might have the same mindset.
I understand it hurts that he won’t help you financially but wants girlfriend benefits.
5. Past Experience With Financial Support
Your boyfriend might have had a bad experience providing financial support in his past relationship and is afraid of doing it again.
I was a victim of such an experience.
In 2017 I was dating a girl struggling financially, and I did all I could to help her escape huge debt.
I later discovered that she didn’t love me. She was using me for her financial gain.
It was a painful experience because what I did for her was out of the abundance of my love for her. I wasn’t expecting anything in return.
When she got better financially, she ended the relationship and started dating a guy she was spending her money on.
Your boyfriend might have had a similar experience.
6. Fear Of Enabling Dependence
Your boyfriend might be scared that you would make it a routine if he provided financial support.
Of a truth, many women do it the moment you help them. They make their bills your responsibility.
That might be what your boyfriend is trying to avoid.
Most guys don’t want to be financially responsible for you when you’re not married.
My girlfriend rarely asks for money because she has a job, but occasionally, when she’s broke, I don’t hesitate to give her because she’s amazing.
He might be afraid you would push all your expenses to him the moment he tries to help you financially.
My Boyfriend Doesn’t Help Me Financially: How To Handle The Situation
7. Communicate Openly And Honestly
The first thing to do is to let him know he doesn’t help you financially and hear his response.
Maybe he’s unaware you need help, or you haven’t asked him directly, so he feels you can handle it.
It’s why communication is very important in a healthy relationship.
Don’t be shy to say what’s on your mind because you will resent him with time if you don’t talk about it.
You might even start cheating if you find another generous guy.
Sit him down and let him know how you feel. It’s a difficult discussion, but it’s necessary if you want the relationship to work.
8. Give Him Time To Adjust
You shouldn’t expect him to immediately start giving you financial support just because you told him.
Give him time to adjust because he’s not used to it.
Ask him whenever you need money and see if he will give you.
You can start by asking him for small amounts to get him used to it.
9. Re-Evaluate The Relationship
If your boyfriend is unwilling to change or believes he shouldn’t help you financially because you are not married,
You should consider whether the relationship is worth it.
If the guy you love can’t help you in times of need, what’s the essence of the relationship?
There are so many generous guys out there you shouldn’t settle for a stingy man.
Your boyfriend should be among the people you can fall back on when life happens. That’s why he needs to be generous towards you.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is It OK To Ask For Financial Help From Your Boyfriend?
Of course, it is okay. But try not to make it a daily routine.
Secondly, you should offer to pay him back the money you are collecting from him.
If he agrees, you can collect it and pay him back as promised.
If he offers to assist you and asks you not to pay back, that’s great. You shouldn’t be entitled to his money.
If the relationship is new, refrain from asking him for money to avoid being called a gold-digger