Why, at 51, I'd never sleep with a man my own age! | Daily Mail Online

I Only Sleep With Younger Guys (a woman’s perspective)

Most of the time when we see a portrayal of an older woman sleeping with a younger man in the movies, the women are treating the men like prey. But when we see older men sleeping with younger women in movies, it’s depicted as totally normal. Quite frankly, that’s some B.S. In this week’s Sex Talk Realness, Cosmopolitan.com spoke with three women about what it’s really like to only sleep with younger men who are at least 14 years their junior.

How old are you?
Woman A: Fifty-one.

Woman B: Forty-seven.

Woman C: Thirty-six.

What is your current relationship status?
Woman A: Dating someone 22 years younger.

Woman B: Single.

Woman C: Single.

What’s the average age difference between you and your past partners?
Woman A: Fifteen to 20 years.

Woman B: Anywhere from 10 to 24 years.

Woman C: About 14 years.

When did you start dating younger guys?
Woman A: I started at about 35. They just started seeking me out.

Woman B: When I was in my mid-30s, younger guys started asking me out. At first, they were only a few years younger, but as time passed, the age differences became bigger.

Woman C: I’m not entirely sure when the scales tipped. When I was 19, I was involved with a man 10 years older than me, and for several years, that seemed to be my whole vibe. Then, apropos of absolutely nothing, I found myself in bed with a 22-year-old when I was 29. After that I seemed to skew younger.

What do you love most about dating younger men?
Woman A: They like being with a woman who is comfortable in her own skin and knows what she likes.

Woman B: I love almost everything about them. Their energy, their looks, their bodies, and their enthusiasm.

Woman C: If I’m being honest, part of it is that they still find me attractive. I know it sounds predictable, but I have a huge problem with aging. I consider it a check in my personal pro column when a younger man is interested in me. It has also been my experience that most younger men are in pretty good shape, and if I’m going to spend several days at the goddamn gym, it would be nice to go to the bone zone with someone who looks like they care, either because they take care of themselves or because that’s the way nature works.

Is there anything you don’t like about it?
Woman A: Once it’s past the sexual stage, we might not have anything to talk about.

Woman B: When they lie because they’re afraid to be honest or they think I won’t be able to tell that they’re lying. Younger guys tend to lie about anything from why they didn’t text you back sooner to whether or not they’re sleeping with someone else. Older women actually prefer the truth.

Woman C: There is the occasional disconnect when I’m going on one of my rants about the original Beverly Hills: 90210 or when I start to wax poetic about answering machines and they can’t relate.

What was the best reaction you’ve received about your attraction to younger men? The worst?
Woman A: Best: “Good for you! You’re a hot lady!” Worst: “He’s barely legal.”

Woman B: The best was after I showed my girlfriend a photo of the guy I was dating and she said, “Wow! Good for you that you can still get someone that hot and that young.” I haven’t really had bad reactions except when I was dating a 19-year-old and some people said, “No!”

Woman C: The best are the reactions from women because they’re generally congratulatory. The worst is when I get a negative reaction from men who are telling me I’m disgusting while simultaneously lusting after some gal 10-plus years younger than them.

What are the biggest differences in sleeping with or dating younger men versus men closer to your age?
Woman A: There are generally no issues around impotence with younger men. The young men I’ve dated treat a lady much better than older men.

Woman B: Older men are more controlling and set in their ways. They might have an ex-wife who they’re paying alimony to and children they’re seeing every other weekend. They also have more health issues. Younger men are open-minded, less controlling, have more free time, and aren’t as jaded about relationships. They’re also usually in shape, have more stamina and endurance, and don’t need Viagra.

Woman C: Younger men are way more interested in having sex and pleasing me. They’re way more attentive than any man my age. In terms of dating, our brains are in different places, whether that’s physiological or environmental. It can be hard to make someone younger understand your financial woes or worrying about aging if they don’t have those problems yet.

Have you ever dated someone closer to your own age? What didn’t you like about it?
Woman A: Yes. My longer relationships have all been age-appropriate. I didn’t like being with them though because they wanted children. Plus, honestly, sometimes the plumbing doesn’t work with older men.

Woman B: I dated someone two years older when I was in my early 30s, but since then I’ve only dated younger men. I would consider dating someone my age if they were cool and in shape.

Woman C: I find myself not very attracted to men my own age. They seem so boring and settled.

What do you think of the nickname “cougar”?
Woman A: I think of a cougar as a woman who has lots of money and “buys” little boy toys to have fun with them and pay for their life. If I’m going on a date with someone, regardless of their age, they are paying for the dinner and anything else we might do.

Woman B: When I first heard the “cougar” term, it felt predatory but now I don’t mind it. The term is here to stay, so why fight it? I prefer to look at the positive aspects of a cougar: sleek, strong, sexy, and in control.

Woman C: I like cats.

What surprised you the most about dating/sleeping with a younger man? What still surprises you?
Woman A: How completely into me they were and how young men still find me attractive, and the age didn’t scare them away

Woman B: Nothing surprises me about sleeping with younger men.

Woman C: How much we connected mentally and physically! I laughed a lot the last time I had sex with a younger guy.

What is the biggest misconception about women attracted to younger men?
Woman A: I didn’t actively seek out younger men. But they seemed to find me attractive and make me feel incredibly beautiful. I find that men my age are looking for a trophy on their arm, and on paper, I’m just too “old” for them

Woman B: There are a lot of myths surrounding women who are interested in younger men — that they’re only able to attract the men because they have money, that they’re just looking for sex, that they’re “easy” and will have sex right away. Although there are some women who fall into those categories, the majority of women do not. Also, older women are the ones being chased by younger men — we’re not doing the chasing!

Woman C: That we’re using them for sex only, and a connection beyond that isn’t possible. Sure, it can be more difficult, but dating itself is a waking nightmare. What’s a few more years between you?

What advice would you give women who want to date a younger man?
Woman A: Don’t be surprised that they find you attractive, just go with it.

Woman B: If a woman wants to date a younger man, remember that he still wants to feel like a man, even if he’s younger. Don’t become his “mom” and don’t say things like, “When I was your age…” Don’t try to compete with younger women. Younger men are interested in you because of your age, not despite your age. Don’t pay for everything, otherwise you’ll become his Sugar Mama.

Woman C: My advice for both genders is actually a story. My great-grandmother was 12 years older than my great -randfather. After she died, people would ask him when he was going to move on, and his response was always, “I already met the love of my life.”

What It’s Really Like to Be a Guy Who Only Dates Much Older Women
“Sometimes people think I’m her son, but when that happens we just look at each other and laugh.”

Shoulder, Elbow, Black hair, Back, Flesh,

I Only Sleep With older women (a guys perspective)

Whenever you hear about men dating older women, it’s often talked about like it’s a way to “mix things up” sexually. Rarely do you hear about men who specifically want to sleep with women 15+ years older than them as more than just a passing Mrs. Robinson moment. But surely plenty of those men exist. In this week’s Sex Talk Realness, Cosmopolitan.com spoke with three men about what it’s like to love sleeping with much older women in a world that tries to make it seem like that’s a rarity.


How old are you?
Man A: Twenty-four.

Man B: Twenty-seven.

Man C: Thirty-one.

What is your current relationship status?
Man A: Single.

Man B: Dating.

Man C: In a serious relationship.

What is the age difference between you and your current partner?
Man A: I’m single now, but in my last relationship, I was 24 and she was 40.

Man B: Fifteen years.

Man C: Thirty-two years.

What’s the average age difference been between you and your past partners?
Man A: Twelve to 16 years.

Man B: About three years.

Man C: My ex-wife was nine months older. I only had one friend with benefits after that who was six years older then me.

Did you always date much-older women? If not, when and how did that start?
Man A: No. I actually started with dating girls my age. I hooked up with a 30-year-old when I was 18, so I was always into it per se, but I didn’t really start dating older women until I was 20 and I met this pretty hot college teacher online. Since then I’ve always looked for older women above all else.

Man B: No, but the attraction has always been there. My current girlfriend pursued me on social media and then we started dating.

Man C: I always wanted an older woman. It’s a fantasy come true. At 14, I dreamed of an older woman breaking me in. Now I’m 31, and I have more experience sexually and a desire to satisfy my partner in every way I can.

What do you love most about dating older women?
Man A: I like how mature they can be when handling serious situations, but also how playful and youthful they are. My last girlfriend and I would sit down and listen to all my favorite music, and it was a real bonding experience I’d never had before. You don’t expect someone who is so much older to have so much in common with you or the desire to connect with you the way some older women do.

Man B: Older women have their life together. And with 15 years more experience, they’re more interesting to talk to.

Man C: There’s less drama with older women and they are much less likely to be dependent on you. A strong, independent woman is sexy.

Is there anything you don’t like about it?
Man A: The social stigma can be tough, but I have brushed it aside. Society isn’t as used to seeing it as we’d like them to be.

Man B: Not in the slightest.

Man C: So far nothing I don’t like.

What was the best reaction you’ve received about your attraction to older women? The worst reaction?
Man A: Some friends thought it was cool in some ways, but other friends didn’t. Overall though, nothing major. I think we all should do what we love. In my case, that’s dating older women.

Man B: I’ve never gotten anything more than a “huh.”

Man C: Sometimes people think I’m her son, but when that happens we just look at each other and laugh. Most women reply with, “You go, girl!” They’ll also mention how it’s been acceptable for older men to date much younger women and then question why it’s not more socially acceptable for women to date younger guys.

What are the biggest differences in sleeping with or dating older women versus women closer to your age?
Man A: Older women are more open to letting you try new things. They aren’t objects, but in my experience, they certainly aim to please overall.

Man B: Older women know what they want, so I don’t have to guess. I just follow directions given, which puts much less pressure on me. Overall, she is definitely in control of the situation, which I find really sexy.

Man C: Nothing is really different about sleeping with older women. As far as dating goes, older women are zero drama. In many cases, they’ve already had their families, so neither of us are dependent on the other. She doesn’t get jealous and she’s not controlling.

Have you ever dated someone closer to your own age? What didn’t you like about it?
Man A: There wasn’t anything I didn’t like about it. I love dating in general, but I feel like older woman just have more to offer. They have experience that is more valuable than anything.

Man B: Yes, I didn’t like that most women my own age didn’t seem to be in control of the relationship or in bed.

Man C: I married a girl my age and dated a couple others who were around my age. They don’t really know what they want and are still finding their way.

What surprised you the most about dating/sleeping with an older woman?
Man A: Every lady I meet is a new chapter in my life. Things that surprise me range from how well they give oral to what they think about a certain style or genre of music. It intrigues me every time.

Man B: How much sex I’ve had. Good god. With girls my own age, we only had sex a few times a month. Now I have sex nearly every time I go on a date, which is amazing. Also, that not all older women want kids or have kids, which would’ve been a sticking point for me.

Man C: Sexually, I was surprised by her openness to experiment and surprised that there was no stigma about oral sex. Previously, I had married a woman who did not like returning the favor, if you know what I mean.

What is the biggest misconception about men attracted to much older women?
Man A: It’s not always just a fetish. Some men are genuine guys who just like dating older woman. There’s nothing wrong with two consensual adults being serious together or playing around.

Man B: That they’ll be judged really harshly for being attracted to them. People don’t really judge you for dating older women as often as your fears might lead you to believe.

Man C: I’d say the biggest misconception is the idea of an Oedipus complex. I’m not looking for a mother figure or to be nurtured. We’re on a very similar playing ground. She’s young at heart and I’m mature for my age.

What advice would you give men who want to date older women? To women who want to date younger men?
Man A: To men: don’t try to enjoy what she enjoys if you don’t. Show interest in it, but you don’t have to like her style of movies or music. And to the woman, do the same thing and hopefully you’ll find a guy of your dreams.

Man B: Go for it! I’m thoroughly smitten by a woman who is 15 years older than me, and if I let my fears stop me from talking to her when she first reached out to me, I’d have made the biggest mistake of my life.

Man C: Know what you want and what she wants. Does she want sexual satisfaction or a boyfriend? If you want a serious relationship, make sure you don’t act like a kid. Don’t bring your video games to her house. Be prepared to learn about wine and dancing. I go out dancing twice a week. Ladies, younger guys who think you’re beautiful and want to treat you right are out there. If a young guy shows interest, don’t shrug it off.