15 things you only know if your best friend is hotter than you | Metro News
Things you only know if your best friend is hotter than you

You’ve been there for each other through thick and thin, good times and bad guys.

And, when it comes to your friendship you know looks don’t matter.

But, when you’re the Nicole to her Paris, the Janis to her Cady, the Tai to her Cher, certain things become the norm.

Here’s 15 things you only know if your best friend is hotter than you.

1. She thinks all men are lovely

This is because they are all lovely to her, because they want to sleep with her.

Meanwhile you get to see them being rude, gross and insensitive – all of which you helpfully report back to her, of course.

2. You never have to queue to get in anywhere

You’re happy to coast in past the lines of average-looking suckers on the back of her superior genes.

The times you go out without her are a bit of a shock.

Obstructive doormen?! Barmen who aren’t desperate to serve you free drinks?! Crowds of men who don’t part like the Red Sea to let you pass?! This is no way to live.

3. She has an army of male ‘friends’ and says she’ll set you up

But you know this will never happen because they’re all clearly in love with her.


4. You get all the benefits of being a hot person without having to put the work in to becoming one

You know how hard she works at the gym, how she hasn’t eaten a burger since 2008, the time and money she spends in the salons and the hours she puts into perfecting her already gorgeous face each day.

You’ve seen it and you know it’s not for you.

It makes far more sense to eat chips, not give a crap about your hair AND always get into VIP.

5. It’s always weird introducing her to family members

Even your dad says she’s beautiful. Ew.


6. You’re funnier than she is

You know it, she knows it, guys know it.

They come over for the scenery and stay for the show.

7. Although she does tell jokes sometimes

These include ‘I look awful today,’ ‘my tummy’s so big’ and ‘I’ll never meet the right guy’.


Yeah, you’re really looking shoddy today,
8. She offers to lend you outfits that will simply not work on your body

You have a carefully-constructed wardrobe of items to express your personality, hide your crap bits and enhance your good bits.

All her bits are good bits. A bandage dress will only make you look like an over-stuffed sausage / curveless man-woman.

9. She always starts sentences with ‘you know how guys…?’

NO. You don’t.

Especially when the above is followed by baffling statements to do with the kind of behaviour usually only displayed by unneutered dogs.

10. You’re really good at ‘managing people’s expectations’

She’s got a partner already but they don’t know that, the poor dears.

You have had years of giving men (and sometimes women) the gentle let down.

You could probably start a new career as George Clooney’s character in Up In The Air – firing people for a living.

11. Sometimes, it’s a bit like being friends with Kim K

People stop you both in the street, she’s always papped at parties and everyone wants to be her mate.

12. You always get the friend

While she’s getting chatted up by some stone cold fox you have to make polite conversation with his friend who’s so dull he could put a toddler who’s eaten a jar full of instant coffee to sleep.

13. You make a big deal of the one pic you have of the two of you, in which you look hotter (or at least as hot)

It’s probably your Facebook profile pic. This is because your other pics look like this –

14. She doesn’t even realise how hot she is

She knows she looks good but she rarely notices all the stares she gets and the way men modify their behaviour for her.

15. She’s beautiful on the inside too

Which is why you love her and you’ll be friends for life.


And 27 Things That Happen When Your Best Friends Are Hotter Than You

1. Whenever she says “I’m gonna be alone for forever,” you can’t help but think, “If you’re alone forever, then I’m screwed.”

2. Trying to tell her she’s hot and she keeps denying it.

3. Guys are nice to you… to get with your friend.

4. You often are chosen by guys to be their wing woman to get with your friend.

5. You’ve sent your hot friend’s contact card out to multiple people.

6. You’ve lied about your hot friend’s number to multiple people to protect her.

7. You’ll always get set up with the ugly friend of the hot guy your friend scored.

8. …That’s if you even get invited out with them.

9. When you go out to places, you watch everyone stare at your hot friend.

10. When you go out to places, you watch you friend not even notice everyone staring at her for being so hot.

11. It’s a love/hate relationship when it comes to taking pictures with her.

12. If you do take pictures with her, you often find yourself sucking in more than usual.

13. But you will never ever take another bikini picture with her again… ever.

14. You often have to help cockblock the douches she talks to.

15. When you workout together, you try to stay on the machine a little longer than her if possible…therefore you are a step closer to becoming hot.

16. When she complains about how she looks, you just laugh.

17. When she asks you what shirt she looks best in, you think about telling her the uglier shirt so you have a chance of looking a little better… but then you realize that’s savage and rude and not something you should do to a friend.

18. You watch her not even notice herself flirting with guys because she thinks she’s just ‘being nice.”

19. Guys will always remember your friend’s name, but not always yours.

20. Even girls obsess over your friend… because she’s hot.

21. Girls will try to steal your friend because they want someone else who is hot to enter their group.

22. They always fail.

23. You often go by the title “Staci’s friend” or “Ashley’s friend” because being her friend is your identity to your peers.

24. You often fear that she’ll fall for the wrong guy because she doesn’t see her beauty.

25. You wonder how she doesn’t even notice how hot she is.

26. You don’t mind all the attention she gets because you’re genuinely happy for her.

27. She’s hot on the inside too, so it’s all good.