The Ugly Truth About Dating Hot Guys

A friend of mine once told me that dating is like hiring. They both share the same processes, which, if you think about it, is true.

When people apply for jobs, you screen them through their resume. If you don’t like their resume, you wouldn’t even bother to invite that person down for an interview. But maybe if that person was referred by a colleague of yours, you might be willing to reconsider your initial judgement or skip the necessary screening.

Our appearance makes up part of our resume. Our object of affection is our desired position. Our matchmaker, if any, is our colleague. And what we are doing today is strengthening our portfolio, our resume, to become more qualified for the position we are applying to.

Most guys prioritize looks over personality. Some wouldn’t even entertain the thought of getting to know someone who is not physically attractive to them. The good thing about this is that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And once they fall in love with your personality, you become even more attractive in his eyes.

Girls, however, typically choose personality over looks. They fall in love with boys who can say the right thing they want to hear. The down side to this? if they met two guys who are equally attractive and one is better looking, most girls will date the one who is better looking. And this only gives you a short-term solution to who actually is better for you because looks only keep you entertained for so long!

The Philosophy of Attractive Individuals

People who are attractive can either be really good-looking or really charismatic. People who fall under both definitions of attractive know that they have options, and this gives them power in any relationship. Because to them, even if you leave, they can easily find someone else.

People who are really attractive know that they are attractive. They often receive compliments from others for their looks. However, people who think that they are attractive may also long to be recognized for something else other than their appearance. They may desire to prove that they are on the same caliber as others whom they deem as capable.

Everyone needs to be constantly reminded of their worth. And the sad truth is, physical appearance plays a significant role in shaping how others perceive themselves because of how others perceive them.

Why NOT Hot Guys?

I’ve always believe in the philosophy that the guy I date should not be physically attractive. This doesn’t mean that I am looking to settle down with someone who is “ugly” — because I there’s no such thing as an ugly person. I just think that average looking guys make better boyfriends.

To me, the only time I would consider dating a hot guy is if I am trying to make my ex-boyfriend jealous. Because guys can only win other guys in terms of looks and wealth. If your ex thinks that this guy you are dating is more handsome or richer than him, he will think that you have found someone better. This is also true for girls: when they see their ex dating someone new, their first question might be, “Is she prettier than me?”

Having a very attractive partner gives you a certain level of happiness and pride. But I personally want that happiness and pride to be his instead of mine, so he can better appreciate me as a person. Guys, unlike girls, rarely tell their friends about the ins and outs of their relationship. If you are dating someone extremely hot, his guy friends would probably tell him, “Dude, you can get someone better than her, why did you settle for her?”

However, if you are dating someone who is just average, they would probably say, “Dude, I wonder how you got her. You are so lucky.” What they say doesn’t always have to be justified, but it gives different feeling to the people who hears it.

Guys who don’t perceive themselves as an object of admiration know that the chances of being with someone as amazing as you are pretty slim, so they will work hard for you. And when they actually do get you, they will see you as their dream come true. This is you boosting their inner pride without having to say it through words.

To Give Love or To Feel Love?

You can either choose if you want to be the giver or recipient of love. You can make yourself feel special by dating someone who treats you like you’re his greatest gift, or keep chasing after the hot guys who don’t put in the effort.

So, hot guys — worth the effort?

Do You Really Want To Know How To Get The Hot Guy?

You’re at a party and you see him. The best looking thing to walk through the doors that night. You’re in class and you sit next to him, the most gorgeous guy you think you’ve ever seen. You’re in a coffee shop and you’re standing in front of him. Could he be a model? Probably. You wrack your brain, stressing yourself out, wondering what it would take to get a guy like “Thats” attention. I’m about to jump into the psyche of the attractive male and tell you what it would take to get his attention and get him on that date, so he can realize just how amazing you are for one another.

Also, note that this can be for both genders, not just guys.

1. Know that he is used to getting attention.
It is no secret that attractive guys get more attention. Whether they are tall, have an impeccable jawline, or have the whole package; whenever they walk into a room all eyes are on them and they are aware of that. They have been aware of that ever since they hit puberty and started getting attention from every girl in the neighborhood.


You are not doing anything special by giving him attention. You are not doing anything special by laughing at his every joke. You are not doing anything special by commenting on how beautiful his eyes are, or his height, or his lips or whatever it is you deem makes him a beauty.

He’s attractive, but he doesn’t want that to be the only thing girls ever see in him. He wants to feel like he has substance outside of his facial features. The best way to start a conversation with this guy is the same way you would someone you aren’t intimidated by. Be natural, and if he says an unimpressive joke, call him out on it!


2. Know that he may be just as shy and insecure.
Just because he was blessed with the features of a Greek god doesn’t mean he feels that way. Hey may even seem overtly confident, but that’s only because that is what is expected of him, because of the way he looks. Just like you may not think you are good enough for him, he may think he is not smart enough for you, or creative enough, or successful enough.

Meanwhile, while you are imagining all the hot girls he must be banging every day, he may be thinking about how fashionable you are and internally criticizing himself about his own fashion sense. What I’m trying to say is, don’t just assume that because he is hot he is cocky, or has a huge ego. He is most likely just a down to earth guy who has a great face.

3. Know that he has seen it all/ heard it all before.
It is in our nature to be drawn to people with more aligned features. People that are taller, more fit, biologically blessed to put it short. Since the most attractive guy in the room gets the most attention, he has heard every “quirky” line in the book. He has been treated like crap because girls feel like they need to put him in his place and he has dealt with girls saying they are one thing and then completely being another the next week.

To put it shortly, he knows a fake when he see’s it. He knows when a girl is not being her genuine self, but merely a more “dateable” and flirtatious version of herself to hopefully win over his affections. It’s old news to him. He is looking for someone real. Someone who isn’t afraid to snort when they laugh around him, or nudge his shoulder after a corny joke. Don’t think you have to vamp up your quirks or put your sarcasm on full speed. Be who you genuinely are.

4. Know that you need to be a little unfazed.
I know, I know. He’s hot. But in a sick and twisted way, you don’t need to let him know it. What I mean is, don’t get caught gawking at him from across the room every time he looks in your direction. Try not to get tongue tied as he is looking deep into your eyes while you talk. Take a deep breath and remember he is just a normal guy. Keep telling yourself this as you approach him at a party, or turn around to speak to him at that coffee shop he always comes to at 3p.m. on Saturday evenings…not that you’re paying attention, or anything. He doesn’t want to feel like you are a ‘fan’. He gets enough of that in his everyday encounters. In a way, its comforting for him if you are unfazed by his good looks because then he can let his guard down and show his true personality, too.

5. Know that he is more than a pretty face.
What I mean is, try not to talk about how he looks. At least at first. Avoid comments like:
“A good looking guy like you in Starbucks, alone?”

“You MUST have a girlfriend, huh?”

“You’re eyes are so beautiful.”

I know this sounds harsh, but know that he has heard things like the later so many times it isn’t even really a compliment anymore rather than a person pointing out the obvious.

“You’re so tall!” He responds with thanks, but he knows he’s tall. Three people have reminded him this already. Instead, compliment him on something he may not expect. Notice his character. Notice his talents. Notice his sense of humor or his sense of style. Things that may go unnoticed because everyone is too busy telling him about how great-looking he is.

6. Know that yes, he could be single.
Contrary to popular belief, attractive guys can be very single. People think that because a person is good looking that their love life may be flourishing but that’s usually not the case. Because hot guys are, well, hot…girls are instinctively more intimidated by them, and if they aren’t they usually are over-the-top when dealing with them.

It’s hard for them to find someone that isn’t fazed by their looks. Someone who wants them as a person, not just a trophy. So don’t just assume he has a girlfriend and one on the side. Just because he is hot doesn’t mean he isn’t looking for a lasting relationship too. He may have just not found a girl that sparks his interest yet, his desire to chase. You can be that girl. Just believe, in yourself, as IIIIIII believe in, yoooooooouuuuu.

7. Know that he doesn’t want you to be perfect.
Hot guys are more forgiving than we give them credit for. We see them in the bar in their leather jacket and slick back hair, surveying the place and just assume he is thinking terribly vile things about everyone. He’s not. He could just be thinking about taxes, or something.

Attractive people learn to be more forgiving of others flaws because they themselves are very critical of their own. I know you think he only dates 6’2 Victorias Secret models but he doesn’t. He just wants a normal, amazing girl and that doesn’t mean perfection. He is tired of everything being about looks. He wants to know about you, and he wants you to accept his every perceived flaw too. (I saw perceived because we all know he has none. Or maybe like one or something. So annoying!)

8. Know that he really just wants you to be your fucking self.
Drop the gimmick. Take off the uncomfortable tight dress if you don’t like it. Don’t try to make sultry eyes if you have no idea what that even means. Don’t become a nervous wreck. Don’t pretend like you have everything in common. Don’t drop your potty mouth. Don’t try to ‘put him in his place’. Just be you. Be unadulteratedly you. Because in the end of the day, that’s the girl he’s going to be pushing past guys in the bar to speak to. You.