bad boy

Here’s What Happens When You Fall In Love With The Bad Boy

A bad boy. Someone who stares at you with those captivating, dangerous eyes. Someone who has a good looking face that gives you more excuse to study it, ordering yourself not to take the risk of pushing further.

But you do anyway, because you’re curious. You want to know what’s lurking behind that look, and you want to understand how it can be both innocent and troublesome.

He is a guy who seems to be a walking disaster, an accident waiting to happen. Someone who perfectly embodies a beautiful tragedy. And you know better not to be associated with a person like him.

You have seen him in a movie. You have heard your friend cry over someone like him. You have read about him in articles online, in short stories, in novels you grew up loving.

But there’s always been something mysterious about a bad boy that you want to figure out.
You want to know the story behind those tattoos that are inked in his arms — What do they symbolize in his life, and what inspires him to have them be displayed permanently in his skin? You want to know what’s beating in his heart. If it gets soft, too sometimes, or if it is pained, or if it is as strong as his facade appears to be. You want to be friends with him, be near him most of the time, and test whether the stretch of your tolerance and acceptance of people are really that extensive.

Slowly by slowly, you start to develop feelings for him. Of course you’re going to be in denial at first. But damn those bad boys, because eventually you fall in love with one of them.

You fall in love with his brokenness. You want to fix him, nurture him, and cradle him in your arms until he gets better. You so badly want to heal him and help him sort his life. Because that’s what you do when you love a guy — you guide him to become a better man.

You want to be the hero who saves him, so he can love you despite his messiness.

You fall in love with his imperfections. The way he doesn’t always say the right words, the way he doesn’t live up to anyone’s measurements, and the way he doesn’t care that he’s not enough.

You fall in love with his magnetic confidence, with his free-spirited soul, and with his spontaneity.

You fall in love with his casual moves. Like how his voice sounds so calm and steady whenever he speaks about ideologies he believes in. How his eyebrows meet in the middle whenever he ponders a profound thought. How he puts his hand in your neck and kisses you softly with such ease, as if to make sure you’re comfortable. How he can pull off that cocky grin that gives you one more reason to be lost in him, in his world, in his mischievousness.

Sometimes you’re jealous of how he can express his thoughts without a filter, with no holding back. And you wish you could also live with no fears and no worries.

But a bad boy will always be a bad boy. There’s no changing him no matter how many times you convince him to follow you in a different direction. There’s no amount of Band-Aids that can mend his wounds. There’s no amount of sweet words that can fix what is wrong with his heart. There’s no amount of kindness that can make him love you more.

He is called a bad boy for a lot of reasons. He doesn’t give a crap about anything and anyone that’s against him. He’s never going to constantly check on your feelings and make sure you are okay. He will not understand your sentiments, sorrow, annoyance, happiness, excitement, hopes, or dreams. And he loves himself too much to listen to you, to care about you.

He made your worst nightmare come true, and you felt devastated. You knew it would be exciting to spend time with him, to learn a thing or two about him, and to feel the rush of adrenaline in your veins. But in the end, your heart was broken.

Because it wasn’t the kind of experience that was worth the thrill.

You wish you would have listened to your gut. You wish you would have paid attention to that one little heartbeat that gave you a warning. You wish you didn’t give him a try. You wish you restrained yourself from heading in a game that’s inevitably a loss.

You wish you didn’t become infatuated with someone who can’t be saved.

But alas, you fell to one of his kind. And you hope, now, that he is the last.

The Bad Boy: Why Women Love Them 

I should make something very clear before we get going: this article will not teach you how to mistreat women, or give you instructions about how to be a douchebag (which are stereotypical characteristics of the bad boy).

However, in this article, you can expect to learn how to become the bad boy that women want, but in the best way possible.

Keep reading and you’ll understand what it is about the bad boy that turns women on.

And, you’ll know how to implement these skills into your dating world without compromising yourself and becoming a dick.

Relationships work best when both parties make each other happy, and they fail miserably when they are neglected and cause jealousy and resentment. Before we get into our solutions, it’s important to understand why women go for the bad boy.

Why Do Women Love A “Bad Boy”?
Ok, some people think women are attracted to the bad boy because we have daddy issues. And while that is a thing, without getting too heavy, a lot of women, if they have poor relationships with their fathers, always seek that kind of negligent love in their boyfriends. And that is one reason why women go for the bad boy.

bad boy text message meme

Sometimes, however, it has absolutely nothing to do with someone’s father. Sometimes women go after the unattainable bad boy because they want to be the reason that he changes or like I mentioned earlier, they are nurturers and they want to, in a sense, save a bad boy from himself.

But people don’t change unless THEY want to or the incentive is big enough. The bad boy is also the face of a person who would rather not commit to a relationship. So there are many types of bad boys and girls also

respond to them differently.

Reason #1: He holds the power.
The bad boys usually hold the power because they tend to care the least. And it’s in the sense that they are so detached from their feelings that they can take a girl or leave her. And for a girl, this means he holds the power in the relationship, which causes her to chase him. That is a strong imbalance of power.

The woman who is secure in herself won’t really deal with the bad boy. Some relationships, especially those based on power, have turned into a nasty game of who can care the least. It is an act of self-preservation, one that does not bode well for a lasting or loving relationship. This is so because the focus of the relationship is on who holds the power and it is not on respecting one another.

Reason #2: Women are socially constructed to want to “fix” a man.
The bad boy trend is also a cultural phenomenon that the movies and popular culture have enforced and, in the process, taught girls to have unrealistic expectations about relationships. It also encourages the dangerous thought that you should get into a relationship to change the person.

Change can happen, but the best piece of advice I have ever gotten was to never get into a relationship with someone for its potential. If you do, you will find yourself let down because what you see is usually what you get.

Reason #3: Confidence is sexy.
If a woman is going after the bad boy, she is attracted to his confidence and is also looking for him to boost her self-confidence. Not always the best thing to do. Sometimes we can lack self-esteem; we’re extremely human that way. But the number one reason why we are attracted to the bad boy is that he gives off a feeling of confidence and power. Not like Harry Potter power, but power in the sense that he is confident enough in himself to not care what other people think about him.

Women are psychologically drawn to powerful men who know what they want. The alpha male. Confidence is generally connected to the alpha or he has a very good at faking his confidence.

Reason #4: Women are nurturers.
Alright, another thing to understand about the allure of the bad boy is that women are by nature nurturers. That is why when we meet a man who seems damaged, misunderstood or brooding, we want to help him. Even if it is just his way to get into our pants. This can be a psychological mind bender. We want to feel needed, and the bad boy is just the easiest form of that. He is the hurt puppy we want to cuddle.

We feel a need to fix the bad boy, or we want them to change for us. This is a highly romanticized vision of love that we have all strived for at some point in our lives. Something that girls don’t either know about themselves or want to own up to is the fact that some of us are afraid of intimacy.

The reasons as to why we are afraid of intimacy vary, but, usually, nice guys aren’t afraid of commitment; however, sometimes women are. If we are that type of woman, being with the bad boy is the easiest way to avoid our commitment issues. The bad boy doesn’t want to commit and, subconsciously, sometimes, neither do we.

Reason #5: Bad boy = Adventure.
The bad boy also gives off an adventurous vibe that is very appealing to girls. This presents itself in a way that shows that he doesn’t care what other people think about him, which, again, comes back to confidence. So if you take anything from this article, it is that women are attracted to the bad boy for his confidence and power in a situation. But beware: bad boys usually end up in bad relationships because, in the end, there are bad girls, too.

We nurture the tortured soul because we genuinely believe they can change and that they will change if they love us enough. Kind of sad, really, when you think about it.

This is like when young girls are told that when a boy is mean to us it just means that they like us. This is part of the reason why we also have a deep-rooted attraction to be mistreated by the stereotypical bad boy, but, in actuality, we are attracted to their indifferent personality in that they can take a girl or leave her.